Growing up with hearing loss

Did you feel that it was harder socially when you were growing up with a hearing loss?

I’ve always been quite social so I didn’t let it impact me in that way. I didn’t really hang out with my brother or sister so I had to create my own social life. It was only as I got older that I was aware of how bad my hearing was, how impatient others were to repeat themselves and saying things such as “Are you deaf or something?!” if I didn’t understand.

It got harder as I got older for me to want to meet new people. As a child, meeting new people is always less complicated, as you can find common ground a lot easier but as I grew up, new accents appeared. I have to re-learn speech patterns and background noises seem to be louder and more distracting. As a teenager, music was a big thing. It was all about who you listened to and knowing the words to songs. I didn’t know anything about teletext 888 until a friend had it on during Top of The Pops, to learn the lyrics. I was excited but also annoyed that something as common as subtitles had been hidden from my life. I always loved watching TV and now I could finally understand it.

I find it exhausting to meet with people now, unless it’s just one other person, as lip reading can be a lot of work. Trying to decipher several people can take a lot of energy so I often cancel now if I think it’ll be too stressful.

What was hardest at school for you because of your hearing loss?

School was complicated as I found it hard to concentrate. I spent a lot of time being silly because I couldn’t fully hear, therefore understand, what was being said. I would usually figure it out from what we were reading or what on the blackboard. One teacher would just get us to write down what she was saying from a book, it was so difficult.

They were all aware of my hearing but clearly had no understanding or way to help me. I didn’t like to participate or give answers due to sometimes mis-hearing the question, then feeling stupid. I had to take my French listening exam in a school hall with everyone else, when I asked about it, I was told that “it’s too late to organise anything else”, as if I was supposed to remind them. I had no idea what support was available to me from either the school or my Audiologist.

I would often mishear homework assignments or deadlines and the teachers would treat me like a liar when it wasn’t done. I used to have hearing tests at the school, in a room where you could hear everything going on outside. It was completely pointless. One audiologist shouted at me for pressing the button too much despite doing it as instructed, I was around 8 at the time. It made me anxious having to deal with something like that. I never knew of anyone else having any type of hearing loss. Not until I was an adult.

It’s quite lonely not being able to connect with someone else that can potentially understand you a bit better.

Is there anything else that you would like to add?

It’s only in the past year that I’ve been able to put myself out there in a way I did as a child in terms of being social. Most new people in my life would come from work or friends of friends.

The various types of social media has allowed me to branch out and try new things and meet new people. It’s made a huge change in my anxiety and depression in such a short time. Hopefully it’s had a similar effect on children today and gives them a way to see that they’re not on their own and to search for what is on offer for them.